Dear Diary,

what the hell...why cant i stop eating? There is like no good food in my apt, so like why can't I just not eat. Bleh.
There was leftover nyc pizza in the fridge today, so that was part of the caving in. But then there was really nothing else, I had a chocolate pop tart for a chocolate fix (my period is here), then spagetti-o's for dinner. I mean, really. You think if I break a fast and eat, it'd be better food than that! I mean come on!

So it sucks that I broke the fast for bad food. lol
But it's cool coz now I've eaten any of the possible decent food in the apt, so there is nothing else for me to pig out on.
You know how it is though, when your on a fast and you start craving the stupidest food. Like pickles or food you never ever have eaten. Even healthy stuff. Like a big craving for tuna, which i dont think is so great. But on the 4th day of a fast, when your caving in hard, it's like the best food ever.

But anyway, I don't think there is anything tempting left.

anyway, i got a job last thursday, but it sucked ass and i quit. Well, sorta quit. I usually am pretty cool about jobs, but this job...i dont know. I've never disliked a job so much in my life.
And it was full-time and I was really looking for something part-time. It was weekends, all day, and all during the week, and I was only gonna keep it until I found a new one. But they had me working all the time so I couldn't even go to other interviews. I just hated it, so I am taking my chances on something else.

My cosmetics experience has come in handy though, I have 3 interviews this week for cosmetics and make-up positions, and then hopefully 2 spa/salon reception jobs. I'd love to work at a salon and get a great discount on hair and manicures etc. But I like designing make-up, and helping people look better. I really do have a talent for it, and I find myself still helping people since I quit CLINIQUE in May. This poor girl needed SO much help. She had like no make-up, and she was using it all for the wrong things. Blush for eyeshadow (and it was hideous), and a brow pencil for eye liner. Gah, I felt like giving her half my make-up just so she'd stop using that crap! But I couldn't tell her to come visit me at the counter b/c I don't work there anymore. :(

Plus, I am a total fashionista, and I absolutely adore the atmosphere at the beauty counters. All fabulous girls and gay guys who love make-up, beauty, and fashion. You look great all day because you play with make-up and can use all the powder and make-up at the counter whenever you want. You get to talk and be social all day with customers and co-workers, and there is no "dirty work", because obviously you have to maintain a pristein clean, beautiful image. It's the best job, and it is SO rewarding when I really help people.
Like the one time we were really really busy and werent taking makeovers b/c of all the bookings. This pretty girl with glasses was clueless about make-up. She wanted to know how to use eyeliner and eyeshadow so I tried to help her. But she was so clueless, I ended up just doing a whole free makeover right there. She said she never used eye make-up because she wore glasses and thought she couldn't wear any b/c of that. She had gorgeous eyes though, and I swear I had her looking absolutely beautiful when I was done.
She was absolutley stunned she could look that way, and was really really happy and grateful. I gave her some free samples and a make-up brochure to help her learn more. She did look really great though. Underneath that gangly glasses plain-face girl, was a beautiful girl with almond shaped green eyes. I proved to her that she could wear make-up glasses or not.

But anyway, thats enough of my gushing. I hope I get one of these jobs. I either want that, or a cocktail waitress job. Good money, social environment, but cool for part-time. I wanna take some pt classes in the spring.

Anyway, I am seriously fasting tomorrow. I have a job interview at 11:30, and then I am going to buy some dog food for my lovely yorkie, then some fat-free, low-cal jello, and some cool whip to nosh on if I start feelin too sick at some point. I wanna try to fast until at least Friday. Theres parties going on then, so I'll probably eat a little something before drinking.

Anyway, I'm dedicated to this fast until I make some money and can pay for all the groceries needed to do the Siberian Diet again. 7 lbs. a week on that diet. It's a really low-cal diet, but do-able. You DO get to eat food on it, and nothing bad.
But it costs almost $75 to initially get all the groceries for it, fresh fruit and such, and it'll probably be more here in nyc. So, I'm just waiting on that....might as well fast while I can.

Anyway, so seriously, tommorrow no eating. I can make it through the interview no problem. I won't even feel the effects until probably late afternoon.
I have some great diet pills, but I am trying to conserve them b/c I only have a few left and they are like $150.oo a bottle. I have a bunch of trim spa around though so i might take that to keep from feeling so hungry. I can't remember if you take 2 tablets or one though. I guess I should look it up online.

Anyway, I gotta get ready for bed and go to sleep. I didnt take a shower tonight so I''m going to have to get up really early. I also am like totally not prepared for the interview so I am doing all that last minute in the morning. I should have done it tonight, but I got stuck watching Boogie Nights until late.

anyway, i;m out~