Dear Diary,
Wheewww............ So--TODAY is BINGE DAY... THe OnLY binge day I can have until the end of summer. I didn't even make it that good really...
I had all these plans to get up early and go get something good to eat for lunch etc. But, when my alarm went off at 9 am, I just realized how incredibly stupid and ridiculous that idea was. I knew I'd feel guilty getting ready at 9 am just to go eat--YUCK! I couldn't bring myself to do it so I went back to sleep until 12 pm. Then I got up and to get ready, take a bath etc, and then I had some extra time, so I did go by McDonalds and get a cheeseburger/fries and a coke. I knew we would go out to eat for dinner, but we probably wouldn't eat until like 8 pm, so I would be hungry again by then. I mean if this is my only Binge Day--I gotta make it kinda good right? I also got my car washed, so I didn't feel SO guilty about driving somewhere just to eat. It makes me feel so nasty to do that. I think I have a phobia of fast food places now though. I felt like everyone was looking at me or something or that someone I knew was gonna drive by and see me in the McDonalds drive-tru and think, 'oh, she must be a fat-ass, going to McDonalds again' It's weird, I really did feel like people knew or something, and that I would see someone I knew.... I don't know if I'll be able to go through another drive-thru even if I wanted to. It was way strange. I got all paranoid, when I know it's kinda normal for people to go through a drive-thru and order food.. I don't know what my deal was.
I thought about maybe trying to throw it up or something, but decided against it as I got a medium everything, and a small coke, so It wasn't like a WHOLE shitload of food. I mean, it coulda been worse. So, now in a little while we are supposed to go out to eat and celebrate my birthday which is not until Tuesday anyway... My sister is also making me some special brownies for some reason, but what the hell--it's binge day, i guess its ok. I just feel like by eating today, I am gonna like gain all the weight I lost all back in one day. I know thats not true, cause I weighed earlier and I was still close to what I was even w/the 7 pounds lost. So atleast I know it wasn't water weight if it's still gone.
Next week though--- or starting tommorrow, I am gonna be strict as hell with my diet. I'm talking, eating EVEYTHING on it, even the gross snacks your supposed to eat. I'm gonna exercise MORE than I usually do, and try to drink a gallon of water atleast every other day cause after a while, you just get sick of trying to drink a gallon every day although its possible... I'm gonna be SUPER strict, and maybe I'll lose 7 more lbs. (hopefully) or maybe even more since I am putting my exercise in overdrive. I fucked this previous week up so bad. I think I really only screwed up 3 days out of the week, and some of those days I didn't eat much, just like a few cookies and some milk, but somehow it screwed the diet all up.. :( I did good on Saturday-Tuesday, and then I went downhill... But you'd think that maybe I still woulda lose some weight for the days I did good, cause I didn't mess up REALLY bad on the 'bad' days? But--on the scale, I've only lost like 1 more pound this week, which is gay as shit, and now I'm probably behind on my weight loss goal!!! I am too afraid to calculate it, cause I know I'll be crushed when I find out. I'm just gonna be a diet-machine this week, and maybe I'll lose like 8 lbs, and it'll be awesome....oh, well
I just need to enjoy today I guess. It's supposed to be for me. And my parents are taking me to the mall to pick out a few things, but not too much. Lol...I am such an expensive kid...it's bad really. My mom is always telling me that I better marry a RICH guy!! Lol..fuck that mom, I'm gonna make my OWN money for me! Fuck depending on the guy though having a rich husband could be an asset... Oh-YEH!! My dad FINALLY got me a sun-roof visor thing on my car! He took my car to get the oil/transmission changed, and I was like what the hell cause he just drove off in my car that morning. I didn't know what he was doing until my sister told me. Then I noticed last night while calling the cat outside at like 11pm that he got it put on, and now my car looks even cooler! It's badass!! The guy who put it on told my dad that it looked really awesome on my car too... I am so excited! My car was already cool as shit, but adding that made it too-cool. (Side Note**) I'm not a rich snob or anything, or spoiled etc, I just happen to be Dad's favorite cause we are so alike, and he tends to go big when he buys things no matter what... So, I got a cool car ... Like the time my dad was suppposed to get our like 20 inch tv fixed, but he came home with a huge Big Screen TV which he tried to hide in the car from my mom for a while. He does crazy things like that and I luv it!! He can't always afford everything he gets, but he's a hell of a wiz at payment plans!! LOL...So my sister got a 98 Honda Prelude, when she graduated, and THAT was nice!! Then expensive, daddys favorite (me) got a car, but I GOT a 2001 Silver Acura 3.2 CL! It crushes my sister's honda!! I coulda got a small BMW for the price of my car, but I didn't wanna be real flashy with a BMW ya know... I luv, luv, luv my car though. It's like my only love. It has an awesomw BOSE sound system in it, and I just listen to music and drive around all the time. Thats like the one thing I ever got, that I just will always be thankful for!! Anyway, now my car looks awesome! It's so me too...
Anyway enough about that, I don't want anyone to think I am a rich snob cause I'm not, and I don't wanna sound like I'm bragging too much or anything. So i'm gonna stop now.....
Well, i'm gonna read some of my other fav diaries, and i guess my next entry will be when i am HARDcore back on track tommorrow!!!!
