Dear Diary,

So last night the power goes off in my house, and I roll over inadvertantly hitting my sister in the face as she is like 2 inches from me, and she jerks and wakes up. I tell her the powers off, and we exchange banter about how it sucks cause it is so freaking hot without the fan. Then we think about my grandfather who uses some breathing machine in his sleep, and how it uses power and is plugged into the wall. We kinda freak for a minute wondering if hes ok or not. So, then we debate about whos gonna get up and wake some one up to tell them. We stumbled to the bathroom, and then back into my room. Then we hear this noise, and I grab my cell phone which gives off this eery pale green light, and we listen half-expecting some stranger to just appear in front of my door. But then it was just one of my grandparents going to the bathroom. So, I go wake my mom up holding the green light in front of me, and she screams which I was really hoping she wouldn't do. So, she checks on everyone, and calls the powercompany, and I try to go back to sleep even though my sister is hogging the whole bed even though she's smaller than me. (damn her) So, needless to say, I didn't get much sleep last night. Then we had to wake up at 8:45 am to see my grandparents off. Then I crashed cause I had my whole bed to myself, but like an hour later, my sister comes back in my room and lays down. UGh! She says she isn;t going to sleep on the same sheets as my grandparents slept on, so again I get no sleep....

But although I didn't get much sleep, I stuck to my diet-plan. My mom made breakfast, but i refused it, and I made up a story how I made myself this big sandwhich for lunch, so I got out of that too. Then my sister wanted to try her hand at being Susie-Homebaker and decided to make dinner, in which, no one even asked me if I wanted to eat, or if I was going to. I wasn't even sure if the rest of the family was eating dinner or not cause no one said it was time to eat or said anything in front of me, but I guess it was. I didn't care though, cause I was gonna say no if they asked if I was eating anyway. So, in total this is what I ahd today:

Peach cup 50 calories

5 Saltines 70 calories

2 saltines 28 calories

sugar-free jello 40 calories

TOTAL= 188 calories for the day.

I haven't even eaten my jello yet as I am writing this. I don't think it's ready, and I try to always save some meal for late at night around 9:00 or so, so that I won't be tempted to eat/overeat anything. I wasn't even hungry today either, I just hope I can keep this up. I am so mad about not losing but 1 lb. so far! I need to checkout the thinpage or some other web pages to find out about how much I can expect to lose while restricting because I am kinda new to the whole restricitng thing though I know I can do it because fasting is pretty easy, and restricting is even easier--in my short-lived experience anyway. I faked drinking a slim-fast can today too cause my mom asked if I was eating the saltines cause I didn't eat dinner, and i said no, and got out the slim-fast can and took it to my room, where I then poured it down the sink of course. But to make matters worse, my mom made a comment of how slim-fast was good for you, and then sarcastically said my sister probably needed to drink an Ensure cause she was so skinny. Argh-that shit pisses me off. My sister eats everything and never exercises.....

Well, I just gotta keep going with the restricing thing though. Eventually, I'll be that skinny!! Theres no way I can't lose some weight if I restrict everyday and fast twice a week in my pattern, right??? I hope so.

Anyway, I am still kinda pissed cause Scott (my ex) still hasn't called me back yet he said it was something important a while back. I called and left a message the second time. Theres no way that he or one of his 3 other roomates didn't get that!!! This is starting to piss me off!! I think I am gonna get my sister to call him tonight and see if he or anyone else answers, but not to say who she is. Everyone says we sound alike when we answer the phone, but I don't think whoever answers will know who it is anyway. I should do it, but I don't wanna be calling him. I kinda made a pact w/myself not to call him ever cause I am so mad about everything, but curiousity is really killing me. I figured he'd call me back by now if I didn't call him back. It's really pissing me off if he hasn't called me back and he DID hear my message!! Uhhhh....I guess I really don't need to worry about it but for some reason I just wanna know whats going on......