Hey, Ok so, Heres the update. I was gonna restrict Thursday due to the sickness and insomnia of the night before. So I ended up eating an apple in the A.M and a small bowl of Macaroni, and later on some orange juice. Not too much, but I absolutely HAte the way I feel when I eat. I feel like such a cow eating at all especially in front of my family. Haha , they must think I am totally Psycho. Sometimes I am scarfing down all kinds of random food, and they give me that condescending "well, aren't you trying to gain weight" look. I HATE that look cause it makes me feel even more guiltier whenever i do eat. Then sometimes I don't eat at all, and my mom has to ask me, "Are you going to eat w/us tonight?" I usually say no, and shes just ok with it. Anyway, I have no idea what my weight is now, and I am scared to check.

Ok, so tommorrow evening we are leaving to go to Key West/Miami/Key Largo. We are going to Miami for a few days and then to Key Largo to go scuba-diving, and then to stay @Key West. It should be fun, and I better get some sun!! We are flying there, and I only hope I come back in one piece. I haven't flown since Sept. 11th, but I don't guess terrorists really care about blowing up a plane ride thats only about 2 hours long. I won't go past anything important or any big cities really either. Tommorrow when we leave, I am only gonna eat one meal that is hopefull under 500 calories. 700 max Cause 700 is the max when your body thinks your starving. Oh yeah, and didya see Brittany Murphy at the MtV Movie Awards?? She is Way....skinny..I am thinking possible E.D., but not 4sure. I know she played an anorexic in "Girl, Interupted." Lol Do you think she picked up some nasty habits?!? Maybe. Also, she had to be all skinny for that "I'll never...tell...." movie. Well, she looked great, and I liked her outfit too. Maybe it's just cause I watched Clueless the other night. and OHMIGOSH, she has lost ATLEAST 40 LBS. since then!! I am not kiddin!! If you look at her on the MTV thing and then pop in Clueless, You will be so shocked!! It doesn't even look like her anymore. I had to think about it to make sure it was her. She looks so awesome and pretty now compared to her even 'makeover' character in Clueless!!

Anyway, enough of that. As for my plan, I am gonna try and restrict all through vacation, only eat one meal a day and eat as small a meal as i can get away with. We will be gone a total of 9 days, so I could lose some weight ya know. We are traveling for 2 of those days though. I hope this plan works better. I am thinking about only fasting for a day or 2 days in between restriction days cause I know I can't Fast for that long if I keep getting so pathetically sick like this!! So, I am gonna incorporate short fasts in with really low restriction. I know some girls who lose just as much by restricting as fasting. But I did like the "All Or Nothing" Technique cause I tend to blow it when i start eating. I HAVE to lose weight by my birthday or I'll literally just die!! I don't know what I'll do. I hate food!! Why is it around, why do people have to eat so much? Why do they try and Make YOU eat like them?? WHY WHY WHY! Ughh....

Well, I guess I'll write in here in about 8 days or so. I wish I could take the internet and my computer w/me..lol, but i know i can't. So, I won't be writing for a while. I might try and write some tommorrow since we aren't leaving until after my mom gets off work at 5.....Until then, I am gonna try and post some AWESOME triggering pictures to help keep anyone motivated while I am gone, but mostly to keep ME motivates. There pics are awesome really. I would die to look like this blond girl in these pics. Life is so unfair.......LATER!! ***Well, the pics might not show up cause i haven't hosted them yet, but don't worry, i'm woring on it. if i don't do it tommorrow, they'll be up when i come back, c/ya

posh spice so--had an E.d , who was she kidding?