Dear Diary,

totally bored in bansko, bg stuck in the room with stela who cant speak english.

kind of missing the comforts of home and the freedom to do anything else

V is skiing all day every day, and I am kinda wishing maybe i didn't come. He will ski all day every day, and I'm not looking forward to 5 more days of sitting in the hotel room with stela not speaking...he should've picked a place where we could all do activiities. Or hell, maybe I'll go skiing, but I don't really want too. My body is not in shape for it, and everyone is usually ridiculously sore after. I don't know, but this is pretty crappy.
Not only that, we literally broke up before we left, and only agreed to get it together for the trip and Christmas. But I know things won't work with him, and now I'm just trapped here. Christmas is over, and I still have 10 more days of being here before we leave. V never wants to go out and do fun stuff or even couple stuff, and the food isn't really that great, and I'm just over it. He has nothing for me, and there is nothing for me here except viewing new places. I guess knowing I don't want to be with him is hard being stuck here. Especially with him consistently diappointing me, or even worse, commenting on how he is much nicer to me here than he is in the US and how he needs to bring his family there. WTF! I am not some sort of pin-bag, it's been sooooo many years, and I don't have any more patience for him and things that 'might' work.
I know I am being selfish, and overdramatic, but it's pretty bad when you know how bad things are, want to leave and end things for good, but you're stuck and can't, and on top of that, your significant other is aware of it too!!! It's like he agrees with me, says it out loud, but still does NOTHING to fix anything. It makes my blood boil! And I know he is planning to skip from 8am-5pm for the next 4 days, and there is no way in hell I'm just going to sit in his room and wait for him like his mother. Gah! He knows we can't communicate, and I have indulged him enough and tried the whole time we're here, but 4 more days is going to be a torture, I'd rather just be by myself. I just cannot deal with him anymore, I have zero patience. Five years almost...I can't even look at myself. I probably should have just broken up with him before we left. I could have, I did, and I could have just said goodbye forever. I should have, but my mom told me to just go, everything was planned, friends and family waiting for me etc. Presents. But still, I should know better than to listen to my mom who is all about appearances. I need to listen to only MY gut. I wouldnt have missed crap. If not for the camera V game me, there was no other reason to be here. And I'm not so materalistic, I could care less about that. But again, I didn't listen to my gut. I was trying to make everyone else happy and in the process, making myself miserable. Like right now, where we are sitting watching tv in a language I can't understand bored to death!