Dear Diary,

bleh...what a shitty weekend.
So....since last weekend, Amanda and I were plannin to go out this Saturday. We talked on Wed. night about it, and were plannin for sat. But then I talked to my friend Laura and asked if she wanted to come. She said she couldnt Sat. coz she had to help her sister move in atlanta but wouldnt be able to go out coz she has to baby-sit her kids.
But Laura said she could Friday, so I tried to change the night out. Amanda was supposed to call me back if she could change her previous plans, but she didnt that night. So, I call her all day Friday but to no avail. So, I dont know what to tell Laura.
I went to Athens that day coz I had to go to the bank, do some shopping, go to the photography store etc. So, I was in athens, but I waited around til 6 til amanda got off work to see what she was gonna do. I brought goin out clothes and make-up just in case.
It was too far to go back home to my parents place in case amanda did wanna come. Then Laura says maybe we should do it another weekend coz she has to get up early to go to her sisters!?!? wtf?!?
So, i was kinda pissed, but still waitin on Amanda. I finally got in touch with her, and she said she was goin to the lake. So, then I was pissed b/c now..because I invited Laura to go and we changed it to Friday and she bailed, now I didnt have any fun plans for the weekend!! Laura didnt really get why i was pissed though...we had a small text message exchange.

And i kinda feel bad now, but i think i just wanted to do something that night, i was all ready pretty much. And then Amanda semi-told me the other day that she didnt wanna live with me in midtown b/c it was too far a commute from her work in Alpharetta. That pissed me off too...she tells me this now?!? I've been looking at places for a long time now plannin it out.
Previously, Amanda had told me she would live with me downtown in a heartbeat b/c dt rocks and thats where all the action is. So, she reniged on that.
So all that combined and the fact that NO ONe could get anything together just pissed me off. Amanda was like all, well next weekend we can plan something...and i'm just like uh,okay. Cause surely, they'll be problems then too...thats how it is unless u make these people seriously commit.
And with me living at my parents right now, it's not like I can just "be" anywhere anytime fast. It is a long ass drive to atlanta and half as much to athens! So, I have to know 2 or more hours in advance to get anywhere.
So Amanda feels bad, but i told her dont worry about it. And so she says lets do something Sat. and I said okay, just give me a call in the afternoon and let me know whats up. And she said 'okay, i'll call u in the afternoon and let u know what we might do."
and that was that...

And so today is Saturday....i took a shower and did my hair, but didnt do make-up or anything else. Amanda has a tendency to flake and I knew that so I just did the shower/hair thing in case.
So, then the bitch never calls...until finally at 8:30 I hear my cell ring once, but i dont get service at my parents place and she knows that too.
So, I figured she'd call my home phone..duh...but she didn't. So, I'm just pissed b/c it's 8:30 and I'm not ready to go somewhere and it takes 2 hours to get to Atlanta...wtf...theres no way I can be there until 11:30 or midnight at the earliest and then we have to figure out where to stay or i gotta drive back in 3 hours. Um..not worth it. Plus, I was in a pissed mood after waiting on her to call me so i just said fuck it.

I guess I coulda made it if I had busted my ass...but why...there was no guarantee she even had any plans of what to do or where to go in atl, and then where to stay etc.... It was totally lame, and she knows it takes me a long time to get there.
So, I just said fuck it...I am planning this big fast tomorrow so I'm just gonna revel in my depressiveness and not eat.
I wanted to start it today coz my parents where gone all day, but i ate pizza at like 2pm coz I thought surely Amanda will call and then we'll meet for dinner and drinks and then go out later.

So whatever...I'm gonna like not answer my cell if she calls right away. Maybe I'm bein 'drama', but i dont care...i hate flaky friends! I never do that, and if i do, i always tell them before. Very rarely do I ever cancel plans and especially not ones as concrete as we had set.
So whatever..i'm annoyed, and now I gotta find a new place to live which is stressful..and I'm just like on edge.

So, I'm fasting tomorrow...hopefully going for 10-12-or14 days depending... I'm just going for however much I can.
It'll be easier b/c i'll be at home alone during the week, so thats an easy 5 days I can get pretty simply. So, we'll see...water, vitamins. Apple juice and maybe a cup of milk if i am feeling like really woah sick...i really wanna get through at least 4 or 5 days. So, thats the plan....and it just works out that my friends suck and cant make any plans...coz then I will have time alone to fast and i wont have to worry about eating with them on the weekend.

I actually think thats part of the reason I am so pissed...I didnt fast this past week coz I knew i was gonna go out and I didnt wanna start the super long fast. Argh..I gotta just do it and not worry about the plans in the future.
well here goes....