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�2004*Blondiegrl24*

older entries inspire and remind
Tuesday, Mar. 14, 2006 // 12:11 A.M.

Dear Diary,

hmmm....once again...
okay. I just went through waaaay old entries.. They make me smile, and also cringe.

But i think i can just feel a happier attitude in those entries, and it makes me happy, because it reminds me of a time when i was happier.
And the fasting entries make me wanna fast.

lol

I would, but i just bought all this food at the grocery store, and I was gonna pig out tomorrow since i am off of work and i was gonna do laundry and pack. But reading those entries almost makes me wanna fast.
I did it so easier then, and I think I have just forgotten how easy it is, and how effective. I did wanna fast briefly before going home just to jump start my serious diet and newfound romance with the treadmill at my parents house.
But------if i fast now, and then eat any before i leave...then i will be on this intense road trip with the fam, and we will eat out the whole way. That cant be good, and I want to enjoy my time with them on the road and eating etc.
It's been a long ass time since i've been to a decent restaurant here in nyc. Every place is ridiculously expensive so K and I just eat cheap if we ever eat out which is totally rare.

I am thinking i will fast, but maybe starting Sunday. I still have to work 8 hours a day this week, and if I go to the tanning bed, I wont be sitting at all on my lunch break so it will be rough to fast while working.
So, I think maybe i will fast either starting Sat or sunday up until my parents come. At least then, I will get some weight off, and then eating with them on the move will put a little more weight back on, but not as much. Plus, after all this food and semi-binging this week...I'll feel like fasting.
But shit---this plan isnt so great. MY parents are coming on a Friday afternoon and staying for almost a week before we take the trip home.
Even if I fasted a lot before, I still would prob gain most of it back eating with them over the course of a week and on the 14+hour drive home. Grrr....damn.
Well....hmmm Well, I didnt buy that much food at the store. I can eat just a little every day or so, eat less up until they come, so either i lose a lb or 2 or dont gain for sure.
IT kinda sucks, cause i have that losing weight bug right now, and I cant wait to get started, but I guess I just have to wait. Yo-yoing it and fasting and gaining it back in the next 2 weeks would not help me in the long run.

I can't wait to get on our treadmill at home though. If I do just one hour of good exercise and do the Siberian diet, I can lose a lot of weight fast. I just have to follow the plan religiously..and i've done it before. It'll be hard, but I am really dedicated right now, and it'll be so fun and wonderful to go from the life i've been living in nyc lately to waking up around 10am, workin out, eatin my diet, and goin to lay out and get tan at the lake. Then I can come in later, work on some art work into the evenings, and meditate on stuff to work on before bed. Such a simple, artisitc, self-healing lifestyle. And it's so beautiful and sunny already in the south. It's like in the 40-50's here in nyc. My mom said it's always between 65-80 degrees in GA. So that rocks...i'm packing away all my boots and wearing sandals on the drive down! roCk!
kickass.
So yeah, i'm super excited. I love and will miss my fabulous make-up artist job in nYc, but damn..i can't lie...i'm so ready to be rescued and get back to the things that matter to me. I cant wait to even just breathe in the better air, and just "FEEL" the freedom to do what I want. It'll be so freeing. I can't wait...
I guess I need this now too.
I just gotta get my stuff together, and then i gotta party with my girl Amanda, and find a hot rocker guy to date....ah...
I'm excited. I feel my life turning in a new direction.
I've been to the bottom of the pit, moved to nyc, lived an adult full-time pleasureless life, and now I am back and ready to get things in order and prosper and finally attain some REAL happiness.
And I believe it can be done.
I hope it can, and I'm gonna work hard to.
The getting in shape thing is huge in this, but i'm really feelin it this time, and it's not about bein 115 lbs or anything...i just wanna be healthy-skinny. Of course my goal is lower than highschool weight, but not too much below. I can work on gettin to 115-125 later, but right now i just wanna look and feel good and thats the absolute MOST important thing. And I know the body thing is essential to this new wave of self-confidence and the reign of me that needs to begin. So, I am gonna work really hard.
Wish i could start tomorrow...
but then i still have to pack...my parents are gonna yell at me for all that i havent done.
i'm a bad packer....i dont wanna misplace things or mess them up...but i gotta start and at least get it going so they cant be too pissed.
I'm sure they'll still be things to do even the week before we go after the rents get here.
but yeah, i'm excited...i hope the tides are turning for me....

ok, finally...this is my last update, and i am gettin OFF the computer...
goodnight ya'LL!~ : )









The WeatherPixie

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