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�2004*Blondiegrl24*

walking and dreaming
Sunday, Mar. 12, 2006 // 9:48 P.M.

Dear Diary,

in 11 days i am moving back to Georgia from New York City...what the fuck?!? and maybe to Atlanta...

i am seriously confused here.

life has seriously gotten even more twisted and fucked up in the last year or so and i feel like i'm just along for the ride...and i am tired of sitting in the passenger seat... but then i dont know how or where to go if i could be in charge and drive..

bleh..idk..things are just weird. I guess I shoulda wrote in here more over the whole period of being in nyc...and i dont like the environment here...totally dirty and i'm a minority in my neighborhood being a white girl...but whatev..im not gettin into that. Parts of nyc are still cool...and I'd stay, but I just think I'm too fucked up right now...I need to go back to normalcy..figure my life out, get healthy mind and body, take a break, get back in school and get my life back together where it doesnt cost me almost $1000 bucks a month just to wonder around and work at a full-time job I'd never do for a career.
I need to go back. But then...it pains me to go back. Almost like failure. But I know I need it right now...desperately need it.
I'm so freakin confused...but no matter what...the wheels are in motion and i'm goin back now whether i like it or not. I dont have a plce to live and I already quit my job....
so 11 more days...and it's so surreal. Living this nyc city life, and then going right back to being at my parents house for a month enjoying summer and the lake...and then moving to atlanta to finish art school.
I dont even know...it's all so strange..and I feel like I'm in a dream or watching a movie...so detached from myself and these days and all that has happened since nyc... I dont wanna be like this forever, but it's just where i am. It's gonna be so weird to be right back in that life i know, and am comfortable with....but so quickly after being in this nyc life which is so insanely different in a million trillion different ways.... I just dont know where i belong anymore...or if i ever even did...
i'm so lost....
but yet i continue to be lead into directions...

whats to come...i guess we'll see...









The WeatherPixie

FADE // SPARKLE

I�m finding out that cheating gets it faster