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�2004*Blondiegrl24*

damn it feels good to be a gangsta.....(boys and drugs)
Monday, Dec. 06, 2004 // 8:54 P.M.

Dear Diary,

i'm high. on life for real right now.... or um..that or the fact that i havent eaten a single thing today..but whatever...

No seriously, (cross my fingers so writing this shit doesnt jinx me), but i am seriously a player and i'm not even tryin.

For some reason, all these guys are on my line....
When it rains, it pours. And it kinda sucks coz i dont have time for all of them, but it seems that only makes them like me more!

So, from first to worst: (so far)
I got Andy, kick-ass guy...i am more fascinated by him than attracted. Hes a fuckin rockstar, and hes like amazingly cool so i just like like him.

Then u got Chris...hmm...i like him, we have TON in common, but he's not like unique. Like the cool that Andy is. He has lots of qualities i like for a guy to have though, personality-wise. We'd get a long great, but hes a regular guy ya know.... But fab personalty, and more like the guy i should have a relationship with. He likes me a lot already though, hes always textin me or callin me, and he seems oblivious that it could seem clingy..hes really outgoing and smart though...i could see he and i workin out

but dammit..hes not the cool that Andy is...and Andy is the bad boy fo sure...lol so u know where my mind is..

Then u got Dimitrie...
He likes me a shit-ton already, but im not all that into him. He seems cool, but I just am not into it all coz i know it wont work out. Plus, he's like a verging coke-head with my friend Sarah.
She wants me to hang out with him for free dinner, and to get shit on his friend that she is like in love with.

This is gonna sound hella-terrible, and i def need to go the other way...but i kinda am thinkin of hangin out with him coz he could get me coke later..

damn. cant believe i just said that. wtf?!? But like, I have been thinkin about doin it lately. This fuckin sucks that i am writin this. But ya know how deperate i am to lose weight, and i kinda wanna just try it for once to see what its like, so i know. But i dont wanna be all in that shit. I'm not that kind of person and I'd never get in something like that. I just wanna lose some weight, have some fun, and then be like, okay i tried it, it's what i though, but not cool coz it fucks with u on prolonged use. I know all about it, i know its bad, i know its addicting, i know it fucks with ur system...i know...

but i dont wanna do it...like a lot...fuck..i have contradictions about sayin this...but i have always wanted to try it, and it does make u super skinny or lose weight quickly.....and thats the shit i need...

dammit though...i just need to stick to adderall...it's similar anyway...

but anyway, Dimitrie and his roomated do it a lot, and chances are I'll be around it a lot if i am there. So, I could sorta get to know him and use him for that, and then be like , buh-bye..but idk. I am a good friend too, and I'd stay friends with him. He's such a girl...(which is why im not attracted) He likes to talk about drama and problems.

lol, Andy has broken all his fingers before....got into fights in middle school and shit, but he doesnt do all that now. People just fucked with him coz he was the new kid a lot. His parents moved a lot.

IDK....we shall see....i also dont have a lot of power over any of this stuff...

I'm going on a date with Andy to the Museum to see Van Gogh to Mondrian for my art class, and just because it is gonna be cool as shit. I will get to hang out with him all day, and we shall see what he thinks of me and how it goes. I like him best though. He oozes coolness...he has had the crazuest coolest experiences ever. Plus, his art is amazing, he's super smart, and he can play guitar and sing really well. I mean, how can a girl not be attracted to him?!?

I'll update about it fo sure though....im fasting til then..i wanna be beautiful...i got some kick-ass hot designer high-heeled shoes from my work...it's nice to get a discount on the expensive shit...

so im gonna look hot, and nothin like tryin out ur new heels to make u feel sexy...

im so nervous..and excited, and just idk...i feel like im in a fuckin drug haze as of lately..i miss class for no reason, and i never do anything but sleep and talk to these people on the phone or computer...or go out and party with my girls....

must be coz school is about to end..and i am celebratin early... I have a final this coming Monday and Tuesday though, so i need to get some studyin in this week... Sunday will be consumed by my date with Andy.

And also, Chris wants to take me bowling some time....so that'll be the next date....fuck i hope it works out with Andy... I like never know what to say to him coz i am so kinda intimidated by him....idk....hopefully in person, I wont care. It's easier in person sort of...like after u hang out...

this entry is crazy...i gotta stop writing...but damn it feels good to be a gangsta...haha

WEARING: Blue tank top, new 3 in heels, black pants....hair down

>LISTENING TO: lol "Cocaine Eyes" Rolling Stones

MOOD: jittery and anxious









The WeatherPixie

FADE // SPARKLE

I�m finding out that cheating gets it faster