Dear Diary,

Today...all I've had was a small salad, low-fat/low-cal ranch dressing a small half a breadstick with that and 2 diet-pepsi's and a multi-vitamin of course.

I'm thinkin about keepin it that way too. I plan on consuming 2 peppermints before work, but thats minimal calories....although when I get off work at 9:30, I will probably be hungry so I need to think up something to curb that problem.

I could eat a nutri-grain bar, but they are like 130 calories each and thats gonna up my total a lot.

I dont know though..just guessing I would say my salad was around 250-300 calories or less. So, having the nutri-grain bar would make it max 430, but thats kind of a lot. I was trying to do good today to set an example.

But then again, I am working tonight and will be walking around and constantly moving tonight, so maybe I will come home and have the nurti-grain bar and hope I burned off a few extra calories.

Oh, and I met this guy recently.... We talked on the phone for the first time last night from 1am to like 4am! It was crazy! I felt bad cause I kept him up so late and he had to be at work at 9am! I know he thought it was worth it though. He thinks I'm hot already so he's pretty much sold on me. I'm not entirely sure about him yet. He's cute, and he's smart, and funny and he seems like a generally nice guy... (too bad i sorta like bad boys...) minor details.. haha

Idk...i dont think we'll work for long-term, but is it wrong for me to want to 'corrupt' this kid? For some reason I attract the nice guys that want a serious relationship, but thats nothing like what I want. I am SO not gettin hitched any time soon....

And all my gal friends want the guys that I always end up with and it's SO ironic! They can't find a guy that won't dick around on them, and I can't get rid of the ones that want to be all serious! crazy!

This guy is so nice though, and I'm kind of a sucker for the nice ones... I feel like I need to show them a thing or two and make them open up. I mean-seriously, I think I am takin one for the team for all woman-kind.

I get the super straight-laced mama's boys to relax, let loose, and be a little wilder... And then they are kind of a happy-medium of good and bad and thats what most women want really.

I'm just doing a public service...haha

The guy is so nice and semi-sheltered. I can just tell he's nervous around pretty girls, and that he has limited experience (but thank god, hes had some!) He's sweet though and sorta passionate which I think is the BIGGEST turn-on ever...

I like guy who acts on emotion and who feels passionately and will just do whatever they feel like. This guy writes songs and he's totally into music like me so he's gotta be sorta passionate and creative.

He's not the total sensitive type though cause he does lots of typical 'heterosexual male' stuff too. So, I'm sorta interested to see what he's got.

Why do I get a high from doing this to the nice guys? Can anyone relate?

Why do I just want to have sex with this guy and make him lose his inhibitions?? Thats the fun in it for me.. I know he's gonna like me a lot, and I love to play that game...

But if I know hes not right for me, I should totally just leave it alone, but I can't for some reason. argh...im so weird i guess...

He's nice and we might would work out except he lives hear his family, not WITH them but pretty close, and hes GOTTA get more independent than that! And he has a sorta crap job right now cause he's "planning" to go back to college. He's still young though and just a year older than me, so he could still go back-no problem. We all know I'll still be here for the 5 year plan.

But this guy has to want more for himself if he wants me to hang around. But theres just something so sincere and honest about him that makes me just like him. He's cute and funny and I wanna see what I do to him. He's wary of attractive girls and he thinks their all stuck-up, but I'm not like that.

Yeah, i like the finer things in life, but I can also hang out in nature and have a good time doing things not so high-lifestylish.... And I think thats why every guy I've ever really gotten to know likes me. I'm the best of both worlds...not too snotty high-class bitch, and not to hippy nature-girl...

Oh, well, i've been in a dating drought lately and at least this guy is cute and nice, PLUS he likes Led Zeppelin, my fav band, so he's gotta be cool! He has good taste in a lot of things and that i can respect!

I'm just afraid he's gonna get all serious on me and I'm gonna have to break his heart. I honestly don't want to do that. I'm just not gettin married anytime soon. I have places to go and people to see... I'm not the commitment type. I'm aiming for marriage around 30 and then if it happens-it does, if not-who cares....

I'm all about my career before all that...I figure I'll find love along the way if it's meant to be.

I dont know though....i'm not dating anyone else, (although Clint hangs out at my house 24/7) and I need something refreshing and new. Something to look forward to.

Clint and I are totally just friends now....although...(whoops-we just had sex like 15 min ago) but we only have it when i want to, and he doesnt get to initiate it. I was feelin like sex and he was there takin a afternoon nap with me.

We both know we aren't in a relationship anymore though. He knows that, and he'll have to deal with it soon. He's gonna be so busy with vet school coming up though-he wont have time to hang out with me anyway.

But I just hope this guy turns out to be better than my expectations so far... I'm VERY open-minded about everyone and everything, but I'd like to actually really like someone for once. I'm so darn picky!

If not, I'll probably just get this guy perfect and ready for the next girl in his life. He'll be the perfect guy when I get done with him.....

I know this may all sound kinda conceited, but I wouldn't say it unless it was true. The guys I date always still like me even when i break their heart, and then they find a girl they really like right after that... See--I make them all comfortable with girls and make them be themselves and then they do it and meet people.

It's not rocket-science, and I guess I sorta have fun along the way... I just would like to meet someone who makes me feel differently....someone i didn't have to 'teach' anything...

eh-what can u do..... it'll come i suppose...

but for now...i hope this guy is cool and I know I'm gonna have a lot of fun with him. If nothing else, I just enjoy being arm-candy for some guys. His friends will think im hot and tell him and he'll feel good...and thats cool. I like being useful like that w/o having to do much...haha

this entry is just crazy i know....i don't know whats gonna happen with this guy.. I'm just spouting out random things that i think could happen, but u never know.. I should just wait and see...

i just have such an imagination though and as u can tell....it's running wild...

oh,well....hopefully we'll have fun together...

and hopefully i can stick to this restriction plan for a couple more weeks... i need to lose some weight before he and I have our date, and so I can look hot in my work clothes...

arividerci..it's off to the tanning bed, and then to work for the night...

ttyl

WEARING: Green mini-skirt, white tank top

LISTENING TO: Led Zeppelin "Fool in the Rain"

MOOD: giddy