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�2004*Blondiegrl24*

Update....damn hungry boyfriend, and starting fast 2-moro
Monday, Jan. 19, 2004 // 10:45 P.M.

Dear Diary,

So---yeah...said i was gonna start my fast yesterday...umm and nope that didn't happen-damn!

Clint begged me to go eat dinner with him cause he has a gift card, so I went of course. Damn the peer pressure!

I didn't eat very much, so it was like a restricting day, but still---it's the principle of it all. Also, we had this way gorgeous skinny as a rail modelesque waitress, so that was like extra thinperation for me not to eat. I feel so weird when we're out eating and we have a totally gorgeous waitress....i know I'm hot to Clint and all, but it just makes me uncomfortable like hes secretly comparing me to her or something...idk Does anyone else feel paranoid like this sometimes???

Anyway, so the waitress was SO thin and like 5'10 at least! She could DEFinitely wear a 1 or size 2 for sure. I was jealous, and it made eating and screwing up my diet plan all the more harder. BUT tomorrow, I am on my own to eat all day and hopefully i can get away from my eat-all-the-time boyfriend. He wants to go see a movie with me tomorrow, so we'll do that, and I'll say I already ate and am going to promptly order a Diet-coke at the movie theater. Then it'll be time for bed and no worries. Then Wednesday night, Clint has class until late at night and I-of course can say I have already eaten. It's just an amount of getting past the first few rough days.

Oh, and the Real World girl...SUCH a thinsperation! She's way thin. ugh, i gotta get on track...i have so many things i wanna lose for in the upcoming weeks...i just HAVE to get over this hump of starting.

I know once I get through the first few days that I'll be home free b/c once you've gone so far, u hate to ruin it by starting back packin in the cals, plus u just GAIN weight even more since ur bod is in starvation mode for a bit.

Just for anybody who doesn't know....Fasting is actually HEALTHY for your body every now and then. It cleanses your body of impurities and toxins, and short fasts actually help your body get back on track and be healthier. Your body goes in starvation mode and stores any excess calories consumed until a certain point, where it then starts to consume it's energy from fatty tissue, but of course if you start back eatting a lot, your body would rather have quick and easy energy from carbs and will stop eating away at the fat.

So, anyway, I need to fast long enough for my body to start eating the fat which means no excess cals, and if i absolutely must if i feel deathly sick....then I'll have to eat some food with minimal carbs.

I fasted once where I got really sick, but thats only happened once, and I don't know what the deal was that time.

Anyway, I have to start tomorrow. I have to wear a dress for an event in 2 1/2 weeks, then theres Valentines Day when Clint is taking me to a fabulous restaurant which is way above the city skyline and REVOLVES!! HOW COOL! I've always wanted to eat there for a special occasion so it's awesome that he is takin me there!! I might have to restrict a little and eat a little then, but hopefully i can go back to fasting or severe restricting after that.

Then there is the big one!!! DUn-dUn-DUN.......... SpRiNg BrEaK!!!

AHH! yeah and i am going to the beach with my partyin girls, and it's gonna be a blast!! BUT i have to be super-skinny before i will step into a bathing suit and be totally uninhibited and have fun!! I HAVE to be skinny by then, or I will DIE!! It is my last goal that I am ever making myself, and even though I wanna be skinner by then, I am gonna set a goal for like 125ish or something like that so at least it is sorta attainable.

ok,ok, i gotta finish cleaning up and hit the sack! I need to get prepared for my class tomorrow before I go.

I am gonna take my Stacker 3's so hopefully they will work and keep me from getting hungry. I'm gonna have to remember to keep taking them though. Last time they didn't work too well, I guess I def need to take one every 4 hours like it says though.

okay, thats it for me..think thin!! and heres a thinsperational pic...

wow---amy smart...New Major thinsperation!



WEARING: T-shirt and Black pants

LISTENING TO: Shakira

MOOD: Hopeful, planning

The WeatherPixie

FADE // SPARKLE

I�m finding out that cheating gets it faster