Dear Diary,

Oh mi Gosh, I had the WORST day today!!! It has been absolutely one terrifying thing after the next!!!

I just wanna go to sleep and forget today even happened!! It was just a totally bad day. Everything went wrong.

First, I was supposed to get to sleep late today because my only class on Mondays got canceled.... I still had to go do my work study thing, but i can pretty much go whenever i want, so I was looking forward to sleeping in.... Anyway, for some reason I couldn't sleep well and I tossed and turned all night and was really hot..... Then like an hour before I have to ge up, i was still kindof awake, and then my cell starts ringing... It was my dad, and he had just talked to the registar people at my old college... Apparently, they didn't get my official Withdraw from the computer, and they assumed i was still going to school there, and they recieved Hope Scholarship money for me. (** HOPE scholarship: something only done in Georgia which awards money to students for books, housing etc. as long as they keep a B average, and it is checked every year) It's not a whole lot of money but it definitely helps out!! Anyway, It's this big huge ordeal, and I thought my dad was gonna fix it for me, but he said they were trying to count all my classes there as attempted HOPE hours, (so I'd lose HOPE next time definitely with 15 failing class credits!!) It's this huge mess, and i don't wanna bore you w/it, but basically they SAY they think i am still going there and just not going to class or something!! HELLO!! I am 5 hrs away, and am definitely taking classes at a "better" school, and I got awarded HOPE here too?!? How is that ABLE to happen?? haha The governenment gave me HOPE for 2 different colleges; man the system is so screwed up!!!

Anyway, my dad basically cusses me out about that, and how it was gonna screw me up etc... So, I was awake by then and off to a wonderful start for my day!! :P So, then I go to work, and it goes OK, although the prof. gave me a TON of stuff to do!! Then I decided to go check out this Math Help center that is free to students cause I am SO lost in Math w/my Korean teacher whom i can't understand at all!! I was debating about going since i didn't know where it was and all, but a bus came that goes near it, so i went. Well, THAT was bad cuz I finally found it, and then I find out it's just a dumb room where you do your own homework and just ask a question when you have one.... I basically found out that I am utterly, totally, and confoundly LOST in my math class!!! The girl wouldn't help me at all, and never came over to my table, and I basically just wanted to leave since I knew it wouldn't help for me to just sit there and look at problems I had absolutely no idea how to do!! But I stayed for like an hour doing the only ones i kinda knew how to do and then left. But I was so sad after that!! I didn't know I was that lost and confused!! I really need some big time help to even do well in that class!! I need like a live-in tutor!! It's just that I never did most of that stuff in highschool, and he goes through it so fast cause he expects you to already know everything, when I am sitting there just trying to figure out how to use my calculator!! Seriously though, I can use a PC any day, but damn, those stupid Ti-83 calculators are hard to figure out!! He presses all these function buttons so fast, and I'm like "what button?" "did he say stat or list? "which one is the yellow button"? Its crazy!! It doesn't help that he can't speak much English and pronounces Zero, "Jero"

Ughhhhhhhh...........

I don't know what I am gonna do! I think I am gonna try and like get a tutor from that place by an appointment so they HaVe to help me then!!

So, onwards---cause the day just gets so much better!! OK, so i leave that place and try to catch a ride back to my regular's bus's scheduled route. ANd i wait, and i wait, and I watch the sunset come and go, and then the bus i just got off comes back again, and everyone waiting w/me piles on---so I get on too. Then I only see the same buses go by.... SHIT!! The buses have stopped running!! My parking spot is like on the other side of the world away, and no bus goes over there anymore!!

So, I end up having to walk like 2 1/2 miles across campus (cuz i have a shitty parking spot anyway) in the dark w/o much sidewalks ALL the way to my parking spot which is in the Intramural fields!! Yeah, sounds fun, right?!? i was like so scared I was about to get abducted at anytime!! I mean, it was like completely dark, and I am not even on a sidewalk walking next to these trees, and I was just like freaking out!! Especially, since lots of girls out running have gotten mugged or attacked recently!! :O I tried to call my house to talk to someone while i was walking just to be safe, but no one was home!! I called my whole family's cells AND the house a million times and no one answered!! (Great!) So, i pretended to be talking to no one a few times, (hehe) and then ended up having to cross this like Giant major highway to get to my car. And then the parking lot was like SO--dark! I felt like running to my car!! And after I got in, my calf muscles were aching so bad cause I was walking so fast to hurry up and get there; I just felt like crying my eyes out cause it had been such a horrible day!! It was then like 8:00 pm, and I hadn't even gone home for the day yet!!! I was miserable!! I didn't cry too much though, but i just felt like crap!!

My mom finally called me back and said they went out to eat and forgot to bring the cell phones, and that they would try and fix the school stuff tommorrow.... So, everything is OK now, but I still DO NOT want a repeat of that performance!! I just wanna pass out and not worry about anything!!

HOWEVER----- A few good things came out of today....(im such a damn optimist sometimes!) ;) --I didn't eat anything, i got a GrEaT workout, and now it's so late, I don't even have time to think about food!!!-- Yah!

So, hopefully tommorrow, the scale will read 2 lbs. less!! Yah! -I always lose 2 lbs. when fasting, but I don't know for how long?? I figure it'll slow down after about a week-- of course-- I haven't gotten that far lately to really know--- I just luv waking up and seeing those changed numbers though! It's such a great feeling!! I know some of it may be water weight, but it still always says 2 lbs. less in the mornings, and it makes me feel so encouraged for the rest of the day!!

Anyway--I have some homework to do, and then after that, I am passing out cause I am just emotionally and physically drained from today! (Whewww---!)